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Little Owl I saw feral children with barbed wire in their mouths. I saw them last night locked in Miss Catherine's chicken coop, out back in her garden. The children wore their fingers down to stalks from grabbing at the mesh fence. They bit at the barbed wire until gray blood ringed their chins.Little Owl by ~Snow-Machine
I haven't slept since.
My husband told me I am not like the other women. I do not have insides of blood and muscle, but of broom and ash and meadow-sweet. I was not born of a mother and a father, but of two witch men from the Adirondacks who tied my limbs with twine and breathed magic into my limbs until I stirred and sat up and gasped for air. That is why I
To Be A Writer To be a writerTo Be A Writer by ~Snow-Machine
Means to have yet another excuse for bad behavior.
It means that when I sit next to you and I am wrestling the
smoke from your cigarette like a bear I want to believe
we'll end up on the floor in gritty film rolls and beer cans
and start to choke.
Because I remember how the whiskey made her eyes
shine and her her hair a swimming pool. When she took
me aside and said
"You two are going to destroy each other," with a little
Parisian smile. Expecting one day to read great mythology
that we made with bread knives we stuck in each other's
eyes.
So one day I felt like being more clever than
romantic and I caught you b
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Deviousness `TimberClipse's dedication to our community is without question. From developing helpful tutorials, to being a community leader in groups such as #fella and #deviant365, you can always find Zev connecting with all areas of our community in order to spread his infectious enthusiasm and inspiring positivity. We are delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2012 to `TimberClipse, congratulations! Read More
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Sta.sh
Honestly, when I read this I got chills.
You are a brilliant writer. I tend not to pay too much attention to the writers on DA (not because I don't love writing, but I find it all typical and predictable) but I read your work and I am absolutely blown away by the depth of your work. I cannot wait to read more of what you have to offer.
Could use a bit of editing, but that's perfectly normal.
--
She dressed like vintage records
and spoke like aged whiskey
when I took her home
and painted the ceiling with her voice.
- The Rental, `Drunken-Splice
--
The sleep of reason produces monsters - Fransisco Goya
Um, my first suggestion would be to leave the actual content editing (if you wanted to do any) for last. Start off the with the general flow, sentence continuity, paragraph breaks, punctuation, just normal things. It'll make it a lot easier for you to read, and to see what, if any, needs to be cut out.
And then work on seeing if any of it needs to be cut. And then, after that, add details, if details need to be added. I really loved the story, the opening paragraph draws you in right away and makes you want more. But I feel like you could keep up the attention if people were more absorbed... if things were described, the way things smell, the way things feel, the way things tasted...
So, those are my suggestions... I'd be happy to do it for you.. I edit for my friends sometimes. I mean, there's only so much I *can* do, but still.
--
She dressed like vintage records
and spoke like aged whiskey
when I took her home
and painted the ceiling with her voice.
- The Rental, `Drunken-Splice
--
“I'm not psycho...I just like psychotic things.”
"There's a pleasure in being mad that none but mad men know"
Metal always.
Wowwwwww.
--
I love this, every bit of it. And I wish I had the insight and creativity to have thought of something that could even be remotely as amazing as this piece.
I am in awe.
Please send this into a literacy magazine. I want to see it published and loved.
--
"We were all only audible words once."
--
The Arts are humanity's way of showing the soul in material form.
It's better to be crazy than normal and boring!@u@
>.<
_( :: )_
^.^ - the cookie hat( from a great board on Gamefaqs.)
We all have a box. Our perceptions of reality are contained within this box. Much as I want to climb the hell out of that damned box, at least your writing stretches my box, forces it bigger, wider _K_
--
Truth is in the eye of the beholder _K_